It Was Never Over
by destroy this city of delusion
Summary: Katniss never really felt at home in the woods anymore. The rock felt cold, the winds felt hollow. The Boy with the Snares was out there somewhere, but what would the journey hold? And would it bring Katniss' world crashing down around her?
1. But I love another

**This is a re-write of my other story 'Going Solo' and I am hoping to improve it. If you have not read the other story, then don't worry this _WILL_ make sense, and I hope you enjoy it, and if you _have_ read the other version, just bear with me whilst I re-write these, and I hope you enjoy these better than the last ones! I am re-writing up to Chapter 7 of Going Solo, then I will copy those chapters into here and carry on from there. So, read, enjoy and review. [this is from Katniss POV, not 3rd person as the other one was]**

* * *

_"How can I marry one woman, when I love another?"_

**~ Captain Von Trapp, The Sound Of Music.**

Katniss POV

I watch from the top of the hill as the train leaves the station. Not that anyone comes here anymore. Although the Victor's Village stays standing, the damage to the town and the Seam is beyond repair, and old District members have long since given up trying to rebuild their lives. So it's just me, Peeta, Haymitch, Greasy Sae and little baby Prim who live here now. No one comes, no one goes.

But the trains still come and go, twice a day. Only rarely do we get a visitor. Someone from District 13 checking up on us, an old resident paying respect to their lost loved ones or a Capitol reporter trying to get a story out of me and Peeta. But every day I still watch the trains come in, only wishing one person to step onto that platform.

He's in 2 now, with his fancy job, living the high life. But I can't help but miss our days spent out hunting, ranting about the Capitol, thinking of the future and trading in the Hob over bowls of steaming hot soup.

"What do you want from me Katniss?" I feel a hand on my shoulder, "I give you a home, and life, and family, and you still want more?"

"I don't know what I want Peeta." I watch way over the hills, thinking somehow I'll be able to see District 2.

"How do I keep you happy then? How do I know that you still love me?" His voice starts to crack, and tears come to my eyes to. The truth is I don't think I do love him anymore. I love the boy with the snares.

"Maybe I don't, I ju-" He reaches round and turns me to face him, his blue eyes shining with tears.

"We have a child now Katniss, we're a family, you vowed to be with me forever. You can't leave Katniss, please don't leave me, you're all I have," He's crying uncontrollably now, begging me to stay, but all I can see in my head is Gale wishing me to come to him.

_I hold her in my arms like the most precious thing I've ever held. Her baby blue eyes are so familiar and her features so defined. This proves my and Peeta are together, a family, and now we have our child to bond us forever._

"_Katniss?" Peeta pokes his head round the door. The hospital in 13 is reminds me oh too much of our days spent here during the rebellion, but Dr. Aurelius insisted I come here for the birth. He also used it as an excuse to monitor my mental health and Peeta's recovery whilst we were here. _

"_Look little baby, daddy Peeta is here," the baby makes some noise in return and Peeta and I chuckle lightly. He walks in, his shoes squeaking on the polished floor._

"_She's beautiful. Just like your mummy aren't you little mite?" I kiss him on his cheek to say thank you, as the lump rising in my throat has made it impossible to talk. He squeezes my hand as to say that he's never going to leave us; we'll be a family forever. "She got a name yet?"_

_I look up to see a familiar face peering through the glass, with a vague smile on his face. He nods towards Peeta, reminding me that he has just asked me a question. Instantly, I know what to answer._

"_Primrose, she's called Primrose." Tears start to roll down my face, my hormones and memories getting the better of me, but Peeta knows how to calm me down. He runs his hand down my cheek and turns my head to his. He leans in a kisses me, not a passionate kiss, but soft and gentle. _

_But when I look up again the face at the window has gone, leaving just the condensation of his breath on the window. _

"I want to give you and Prim a good life, I really do, but I can't stay with someone I don't love Peeta, I wouldn't be fair on you, me or Prim. And it wouldn't be fair on Gale."

"How would it not be fair on Gale? He's got a new life, started again; he's probably met someone new!" The grasp Peeta has on my wrist tightens, making it impossible for me to get away. "Ever since the day we got back to District 12 after Prim was born, you've come up here to watch the trains, you've not been the same in conversation, and you've lost that sparkle in your eyes when I look at you. I want the old Katniss back, where is she? Why did she leave?"

"Gale came to 13 Peeta. He saw Primrose and me in the hospital. You know when you first saw her, and you asked what her name was? Well he was at the window staring at us. I took a while to answer your question because I was so surprised he had come, but he reminded me that you were there, and that you mattered right now, not him. When I looked up again, he was gone. And I've been longing him ever since then."

Peeta's grip loosens, and I pull away. I sit in the grass, playing with the dandelions. He leans against the nearest tree, eyes shut, trying to calm down.

"Go to him Katniss."

"What?"

"You evidently love him. So you have to go and find him." I see his fist clenching, his nails digging into his palm, I see how hard this is for him.

"But I'm being so unreasonable?"

"I still love you Katniss, and that means I want the best for you. So I'm letting you go. But there's no second chance. If you get there, get together, have a family, and realise you want me back, then I can't do that. I'm not going to let the same thing happen to Gale as it did to me, and I'm not going to risk it happening again with me. So this is your last chance Katniss. I want you to make the right decision." He walks towards be and sits down next to me, putting a hand on my leg to make me listen.

"I know you'll always be there for me Peeta Mellark. And I will always be there for you." My stomach aches and flutters at the thought that this is my last chance for either of them. I've got to play it right this time. "What about Prim? How do we decide who keeps her when?"

"I'll keep her whilst you go to 2, then when you and Gale are sorted out, we'll have to arrange something. But for now, you need to go; I think the next train comes at 6pm?"

I can't believe how much he's helping me with this. But that's always what Peeta did, helped others, even if it meant hurting himself. I smile at him, and we both laugh. No matter what happens, we'll always be friends.

The train glides into the station with its usual grace. I turn to Peeta who is holding Prim in his arms. I lightly kiss Prim on the forehead, scared that I don't know how long it will be before I see her again. I give Peeta a quick peck on the cheek, pick up my luggage and move towards the train.

"Bye my darlings," I whisper, but the train sounds the last minute call and my goodbye is silenced. I step onto the train, and the doors shut behind me, leaving me just to wave at the figures blurring into the distance.

I make my way along the corridor, and stop at the first room I see. I peer through the small glass window on the door, and it seems empty, so I turn the handle and drag my luggage into the room behind me.

The room is exactly the same as it was 3 years ago. Same duvet designs, same wallpaper, same desk. But somehow all my memories from here are fading, but I try to hold onto them in my head for some reason. Not that I want to remember the days I spent thinking I was about to die, I just don't want to forget them.

The door to the bathroom swings open, and a small girl in a robe sashays out singing to herself. I jump and stand up, starting to walk out the room, as if she hasn't noticed me.

"Hello? Who's that?" I drop my cases and turn around. A smile spread across her face. "Oh my god, it's you! Katniss Everdeen. The Mockingjay, The Face Of The Rebellion!"

"Guilty I guess! Sorry I was in here; I thought this room was free!" I laugh to myself, and she smiles again, a big grin showing off her clean white teeth.

"Oh no, don't leave! Please, we can pull the bunk bed out in here and share, I hate sleeping in here alone anyway." She shakes, nervously.

"Thank you, umm…"

"Leesa, Leesa Steller. Honoured to meet you." She puts her hand forward and I shake it.

* * *

**You like? Please review on your thoughts about whether it has improved, or if it is your first time, then tell me what you like/dislike/improvements please? I love every single review I get :)**


	2. Unstable

**Okay, I know I've not written in a while, but I hope you enjoy Chapter2! Thanks to all the people who reviewed last time, I loaf you all!**

**DISCLAIMER: Who do you think I am, Suzanne Collins? **

* * *

** Chapter 2**

When I wake up Leesa is sitting on her bed in a pale pink lace nightie. Her skinny legs are crossed and her delicate feet are pointed. Her fingers work quickly at the plait slowly forming down the side of her face and neck. Blonde hair, just like Prim's. I remember Prim's plaits at her first reaping. She never lived to Leesa's age. Not quite anyway, I guess that Leesa is about 14. I can feel myself welling up, so I start some conversation to distract myself.

"You remind me of my sister." Great. To distract myself from thinking about Prim, I start a conversation about Prim.

"Primrose? I think I knew her. A couple of years older than me. Then I don-" She obviously remembers what happened and her hand clamps over her mouth in embarrassment. "I'm so sorry Katniss, I forgot, I mean, I just, just…"

"Don't worry, it was stupid of me to mention her, I'll just get worked up. So…where you going?"

Leesa's flushed cheeks calm, "District 8. I make clothes. Apparently they need help to redesign so Peacekeeper uniforms."

"You make clothes? Wow. I used to know an amazing designer. Cinna." Nice one Katniss. Introduce more dead people into the conversation.

"Cinna? The one who made you the Girl on Fire? Who made you THE MOCKINGJAY?" she starts fangirling about me, "He has to be my favourite stylist of the games."

"He was incredible. More than incredible really. I guess he was the only one who really understood what I was going through. He could connect with people somehow. Even if they were in a completely different situation." I remember his voice calming me before my first Hunger Games. The voice that asked me if I was afraid of fire, the voice that made me feel comfortable, even in the unknown world of the Capitol. "Wait, how do you know about the games? District 13 doesn't take part?"

"I saw the chariot rides and interviews for a few years. My father managed to get the signal so I could see the clothes. My mother thought clothes was a silly childhood obsession, that could get you no-where in Panem, and she was probably right. I mean, Peacekeeper uniforms aren't exactly high fashion are they?"

"I see what you mean, but if you can get to the Capitol, there's thousands of people who buy new clothes every day, your talent won't be wasted Leesa."

/

My plate is piled high with pancakes and various chopped fruit when I return to the table. Leesa has only a bread roll and an apple, and it makes me feel fat. But, a girls got to eat, so I tuck in as soon as I sit down.

"So who sent you off to 8, your dad?" I say, trying not to spray crumbs everywhere.

"I haven't seen my parents for 5 years," her eyes well up with tears, "Coin took them away one morning, and they never came back." She wipes a crumb of pancake and a tear from her cheek, and bites into the apple slowly.

As for me, I start choking on a grape and totally ruin a sad moment. Well, it cheers Leesa up a bit, but a cabin servant has to slap me on the back several times and I am in great pain.

"Coin did what? Why did she take them away?" My voice is hoarse and crackly.

"I don't really know Katniss. I think they were against Coin's plans for the rebellion. Maybe they had a different way to do it, maybe they had different ideas. Whatever it was, Coin wanted it stopped, before they had any time to spread their word. So one morning, Coin herself came to our suite and took my parents out. I waited all day, but they never came back. I stayed up all night, but they never came back. I was only 9 or 10 at the time, and for months I lived by myself in that suite of rooms, pacing through the lounge and searching my parent's room for clues. But nothing, nothing that led me any closer to the truth."

"She was no better than Snow really. She was a scheming bitch out to ruin my life because she wanted the spotlight. 'Accidentally' killing Prim was the final straw, and when a bow and arrow was put in my arms, and she was there, I couldn't hold my anger in any longer. I knew that as long as she was leading Panem, we wouldn't move any further away from Snow's ideals."

I swing round the edge of the table and put my arm around Leesa. It looks like we both need a bit of support today.

/

"One second, wait, I know it's in here somewhere…is this it? No, wait..."

"Are you sure you have it? It doesn't matter, stop throwing things out of your suitcase Leesa, you have to go soon! Leesa?"

"GOT IT." She looks at the floor at all of her stuff casually strewn around the room. "Oops."

But her face soon lights up again when she pulls out a somewhat crumpled piece of black fabric. She carefully unfolds it and shakes it, feathers dancing around the room, eventually revealing what she'd been looking for. Leesa had recreated the Mockingjay dress.

"Leesa it's…it's amazing…beautiful…" My eyes spill over with tears as I run my fingers over the intricate needlework along the bodice. I remember that night all too well, the bright lights, and applause, the sudden silence. All the victors holding hands and the startled look on Caesar's face. The rebellion was all Cinna. Without him, we'd have never accomplished what we did. I didn't spark the rebellion; it was the madman stylist with determination and a will to die for what he believed in. And he did.

"Thank you Katniss. I'm so glad you like it." She takes my other hand in hers and squeezes it softly. My sobs ease off and Leesa gets up and finds a handkerchief amidst her luggage scattered on the floor. "There you go, dry up those tears Katniss."

I mop my tears feeling the soothing fabric of the handkerchief against my skin. Leesa grins broadly at me and I smile back, knowing that she understands exactly what's going on. I lay the Mockingjay dress in the bottom of her case and start collecting up all her other clothes.

"_30 minutes until we arrive at District 8."_

The announcement over the intercom makes me jump out of my skin and Leesa bursts out laughing. I pinch the skin on her arm and she screams, but it reminds her that there is work to be done.

25 minutes later her suitcase is packed and she's ready to go. I've given her Gale's phone number and address so we can keep in touch, as we have promised to.

"_We have arrived at District 8. Would all passengers wishing to get off at this stop please get to the exits of the train."_

The doors creak open as I press the button on the wall. I hold Leesa's suitcase as she steps down from the carriage onto the platform and pass it out to her when she is off the train.

"Goodbye Katniss Everdeen, it was a pleasure meeting you," and she turns away, shuffling down the platform with her suitcase dragging behind her.

I turn to press the button on the wall to close the doors and when I look out of the window two men dressed in Peacekeeper uniforms have Leesa handcuffed and gagged. Her suitcase lies on the platform as she is dragged away kicking.

I scream, banging on the door, bashing the button with my fist, but nothing happens. I need to save her, but I can't and the train starts to move away from the station. I scream to make the train stop, shouting that we need to go back, but all I get is weird stares from people and others whispering and confirming rumours. The Girl on Fire is mad, she is crazy, and she is unstable.

But don't I have some right to act like this? Almost everyone I love was stripped away from me.

Rue, Prim, and now Leesa. I just hope Leesa stays alive; I have to at least protect one of them. I can't have another one of them dying whilst I am forced to watch unable to stop anything.

All this commotion has stopped me thinking about one thing. Where are they taking her? And why?

* * *

**What did you think? Reviews are really appreciated, so please don't just favourite the story without reviewing! Thank you! **


End file.
